Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Pray for me

It is crazy how life catches up with you and you realize that three weeks have gone by and you don't even realize it. Sorry to all the faithful readers but I am sure that you all know that life throws things at you that you can't control and you lose track of time!

The past few weeks have almost been a blur. As most of you know, I have huge anxiety toward throwing up. It is something that satan uses against me. I have been put on anti-anxiety medication over the last few years every fall and winter in order for me to "cope" a little more since I fear that my kids, Dan or I will get a stomach bug and my anxiety will sky rocket. I have faith that I will be healed from this and that God is just trying to get my attention to let go and let him get me through the rough patches in life rather than trying to take control on my own. That being said, Ariel ended up throwing up for the first time ever two weeks ago. I had not started my anti-anxiety medication yet, so even though I was calm on the outside, I was screaming in fear on the inside. I am thankful to God that she only threw up twice and that it didn't get passed to anyone else in the house, but for two weeks now I have feared that the "bug" will flare up again or that we will catch another form of it. I am on my medication and it is helping but the anxiety is still there. A lot of you who read this are probably thinking, "why are you so scared to throw up?" I can't answer that because I know that it is not a life or death thing but I just can't take it. It would be like someone freaking out over spiders or blood, mine just happens to be throwing up.

I would really like for you all to pray that God will bind satan from me and take this anxiety away. I believe in the power of prayer and know that God will heal me from this.

There are other factors that add into my anxiety, especially right now. Dan is working hard trying to get us out of the little bit of debt we have left. He is working for a residential contractor and or doing drafting work for local landscape architects on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays he is a TA at the university for a Landscape Construction class until 1:00 and then he does stuff for his company on those afternoons. And to top it off, he has picked up another side job delivering pizzas about 3 nights a week. We are learning to ration toilet paper and bread in our house since we aren't always certain where the next little bit of money will come in. Dan is also teaching a two hour course at church on Wednesday nights on Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and sometimes has to go to campus in Fayetteville to help his students in his class that he is teaching until midnight. Plus we are still doing connection group at our house on Sunday nights.

Dan and I are strong in our marriage. He prays for me daily for my anxiety and we have faith that this only a season in our life and that it takes hard work in order to receive the benefits later. If anything, I feel we are teaching our children to not take advantage of the small things in life and that it takes hard work in order to get somewhere in life.

Wow, didn't think I would share all of that but I need the prayer and appreciate all of you!


amywelborn said...

Sayin' a prayer for you now!:)